You know that spot that you can get yourself into sometimes, it's like this time period of "I did this thing, and now I'm waiting on the next thing." I think I found myself in that "in between" spot today. I did the whole college thing, I'm waiting to take my boards so I can go ahead and have that RN after my name, then it's off to TEAMeffort, then back to Uganda for what I'm sure will be an amazing, life-changing 6 months. I have always been sort of a restless person. I love that restlessness when God has put it there. When God sets a fire down so deep in your soul it sets everything else in your life on fire. It makes you want to see more of this God that has brought you so far from the lifeless person you once were. It's not an anxious feeling, it's a peaceful longing. I also know sometimes it's just Katie being restless. Me being restless for the next adventure. I don't like that restless feeling because it begins to infect the very things that God is trying to show me.
I was reading in Philippians today and was very challenged by Paul (how could you not be). Paul is being held in the Roman prison, in chains for Christ. As I read I wondered what I would feel like in that position. Would I feel stuck? Would I feel in between places that I would really like to be? Would I just be waiting?
Instead Paul is rejoicing. He is in action. He is rejoicing because he knows he's not stuck. Far from it, he is right where he is supposed to be. The walls of that prison weren't restricting Paul, they were magnifying Gods grace, all the while blessing the palace guard and Paul. I mean the dude that is literally holding Paul in captivity is starting to see the light in Paul. He's curious, maybe even a little freaked out. Whatever the guards thought, they knew Paul was different.
"Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ." Phil 1:12, 13
I know that for myself, and that for many of my friends we can feel like we are between events in our lives. That can be a boring place. I suppose it can also be a terrifying place if we don't really know what's next. All I know is this- there is no "in between" with God. He is always on the move and I don't want to be so stuck on my own small plans in the future that I miss out on what he is doing NOW. Right here in this small town. Right here in this house I grew up in. Right here. Right now. The future will come soon enough, if I've learned anything over the past 4 years it's that time moves fast.
I want to be like Paul and not miss out on the chance to be friends with a prison guard. I want to be confident in my God that wants to show me more of his GLORY. He want's to open my narrow mind to see what's right in front of me. He took me out of the "in between" today and put me in the wonderful here and now. It's a challenge for sure. I guess a challenge is good cause it means God is doing things and you better hold on tight. I guess it is sort of like an adventure, and I like adventures.
"Oh God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you." Psalm 63:1-5
"Better what the eye sees than the roving of the appetite. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind." Ecc 6:9
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